Thursday, May 24, 2012


If this blog were a Twitter feed:

Why does “permission to speak frankly” always mean permission to tell you what an incompetent fool you are? #permissiondenied

And why would such permission ever be granted?!? #justdontgetit

Thank you TV execs for canceling Ringer and Pan Am. Once again, you prove that you don’t know your asses from your faces. #subtledifferences

If I were going to start an Asian boy band, I’d name it Boyster Sauce. #notracistjustracial

Logged into MySpace for the first time in years, noticed they now offer the option of logging in with your Facebook account. #Tomcanceledhisaccount

Man, got hot today. Makes me mad when it gets hot all of a sudden. #makesmemad

Gay guy estimated that I was “18% gay.” Should I be insulted that it’s so high, or insulted that it’s so low? #justbecauseIlikeGuyPearce

Just saw a bumper sticker that read “Obummer.” As they say, the simplest is most profound. #obamanations

New Bond movie coming. Gotta admit the only scene I remember from the first D-Craig film was the ball-breaker torture chair. #testytestes

Guy named Weiner forced to resign because he sexted pics of his wiener? Should’ve received a Pulitzer for living the pun. #livebythesword

Had a dream last night that all these tweets were really just Facebook status updates. #mindblown

Like, dude, is this my ass or is this my face? I don’t even know!!! #the1percent

1 comment:

Henry said...

Good one with the Weiner joke. Very timely.

Just the other day, we were discussing how we might make money off Twittering, a la that "Bleep My Dad Says" thing that became a New York Times best seller and William Shatner sitcom. The show was mercifully short-lived, but I bet that Twitterer is still living comfortably off the check.