Monday, May 3, 2010

Florid thought for the day

I was inspecting a flower shop today (as part of my highly uninteresting job), and the shop lady nonchalantly suggested that I had better get my floral order in soon for Mother's Day, as it was the biggest floral day of the year. I asked, "Bigger than Valentine's Day?" She chuckled conspiratorially at me and said, "Not everybody's got a lover, but everybody's got a mother." Quite.


Henry said...
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Henry said...

You should have corrected her with grin and raised finger: "Incorrect! Not everybody has got a mother."

Pause to build anticipation, then: "Orphans, see? Cheers!"

Cue slap to forehead and clapping from passersby, or if desired effect is not achieved, follow with "Well, I suppose biologically everybody has to have had a mother. But maybe they can't contact them, or quite possibly they are deceased."

If she's still not getting it, then it's time to move on to level two: "You should feel quite fortunate to still have a mother. Me, I never had a mum."

Finally, if she still won't break, finish with "We're estranged. But that's none of your business. Shame on you." And walk on while you're still ahead.

Czardoz said...

And then if she still won't capitulate, you grab her by the shoulders, stick your face two inches away from her face, and say, "Will you be my mommy?"